A Brief History of the Devil Gnomes

Once upon a time, devil gnomes were actually angel fairies that lived happily and full of bubbly life beneath the cool, misty shadows of a Middle Earth variety of banyan tree.  Had you been lucky enough to venture upon their carefree banyan tree forest, you would encounter the most charming of miniature cultures resplendent in their copious applications of chocolate and sparkling cider to everyday life (for whatever reason, the angel fairies were abstinent…from alcohol, not the other thing ;-).  They spent their days making fluffy chocolate mousse and aging apple juice into tasty, alcohol-free libations liberally sprinkled with fairy dust to make it sparkly/fizzy.  Angel fairy dust has the same effect as carbonation without all the chemical badness.  Angel fairies were a completely “green” society. 

Anyway, one morning when Sauron was feeling evil—as was his typical wont on any average morning—he decided to invade the angel fairy banyan land and swipe their trees for use in fueling his One Ring-manufacturing lava pit.  At this point, he hadn’t quite processed the whole “one ring” concept in that “one ring” is supposed to mean there’s only “one” ring.  This logic-less fact in play, Sauron mounted an orc attack for the following day, reveling in his intelligent application of deviousness for the furtherance of his empire. 

SAURON THE EVIL (AND NOT TOO BRIGHT)

The next morning dawned light-speckled for the angel fairies as sunshine punctured the thick banyan tree land of the free-for-the-moment.  Young angel fairies practiced their wand-induced fizzing of that day’s batch of sparkling cider.  One wayward apprentice fizzer accidentally over-wanded her glass of cider causing it to evaporate entirely.  It was in this unfortunate moment that orcs invaded and started hacking away at the banyan haven causing angel fairies to scatter ‘midst the downtrodden leaves.  To add insult to massive injury, once he had nabbed all the wood his orc fiends could possibly carry, Sauron aimed his One-for-the-moment Ring at the angel fairy population and turned them all into devil gnomes.  Their homes and countenances destroyed, they fled their homeland in shame and, after days of hiking, located a ficus tree forest where they decided to settle.  Unbeknownst to the devil gnome immigrants, the evil ficus dwellers already occupied this particular forest.  The rest is miniature-culture military history.

ANGEL FAIRY IN THEIR ORIGINAL FORM
Due to the extreme pain endured from looking at
their once-beauteous countenance, these poor
creatures have requested to be represented as
stick figures

And naturally they have requested that their
now-hideous visage be withheld from
public view

P.S. After this, devil gnomes no longer made sparkling cider.  Despondent at the memory of their magical defeat and banishment, they switched to manufacturing the hard stuff.  This has led to an all-out, gnomely infatuation with invading Mordor and shutting down Sauron’s One Ring-manufacturing smelter.  Ensign Wesley Crusher eventually talked them out of it.

P.P.S./P.S.S. Did you notice that Sauron's pointing hand should actually be on the other wrist?  Yep.  It's a left hand on a right wrist.  I sketched it with my right hand while looking at my left hand...sometimes both sides of my brain don't connect :-)